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  • Writer's pictureRuby Deubry

Love Where You're At

The conversation goes (something) like this:

Friend: “I’m not where I want to be.”

Me: “Okay, umm, where do you want to be?”

Friend: “Somewhere else.”

Me: “Like Ahch-To?” No laughter. More seriously: “Can you expand that? Like a lot more specifically?”

Friend: “I’m just not where I wanna be. I don’t hate my life but I’m not happy here either. I want to do more things but it’s not that easy; there’s never enough time or money. My job’s a job. Pays the bills. But I went to school for more than this. I’m looking for something new but there’s like nothing out there. Is this life?”

Sound familiar? It probably does. It might not be a job specifically but something else. There’s always something. It’s not like you’re asking life to fit perfectly – personally, I can’t remember the last time I had a perfect day. And that’s okay. It just sucks when you constantly have the feeling of blah. And not the one-day blah blues that everyone gets. The life-blah when you’re wondering, “Now what the hell am I supposed to do?”

Worse yet is when you look left and the peachy cute neighbours and their dog just moved in. All dewy and future seemingly brimming so bright you want to pull out your sunnies in the middle of winter (no is not a bright day). Look right and the lovely golden-years couple are “Jetting off to Naples for a little adventure. Ta Ta till Spring”

So it’s justifyingly understandable to judge, jury and find yourself “Guilty on 4 counts of Not Being a Superstar in your Life Right Now.”

Now this is where, if I were old and wise, I’d insert an epiphany statement worthy of making you jump up this instant and give you the energy to change course. No such luck. I’m not even middle-aged and my wisdom goes only so far as personal experience and a streak of intuition.

What I know is this: we are where we are when we are.

The second thing I know is that self-reflection only gets you so far. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for reflection: “Those who do not learn history are doomed to repeat it.” But reflection is tricky. How close can you lean towards the pool to get a clear picture without mentally falling in?

So if we’re here right now and we can’t go back, what to do? If we’re doing our part and making a change but life unfurls in its own sweet time, then what? Maybe then we can find something to make us love where we’re at. Health in tack? Wits about you? Youth on your side? Maturity and experience your friend? Just as easily as you can find that blah something, you can find that one something that you can hold on to ’till all the pieces fall into place.

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